Prevent hostile metaclass __name__ from dropping JSON logs

[groupthinking]

Fix _describe_exception so a hostile metaclass can’t make fallback exception naming raise and drop log records.

[linear-code]

GRV-441

[github-actions]

👋 Thanks for opening this issue! It has been automatically labeled for triage.

[groupthinking]

Duplicate of #1576, which described this exact bug (hostile metaclass __name__ defeating the fallback branch of _describe_exception) and was already fixed by #1516 (merged 2026-08-29T06:36:27Z, ~17s before this issue was opened). Closing as a duplicate.

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